Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
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apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
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I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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