he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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