He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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