Christians are straight up FREAKS
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
