I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
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It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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