Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
