Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
All the doctor said was why
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I see more hoeing in ur future
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