we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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