I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
