The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
