When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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