fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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