that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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