I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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