It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
