sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
