mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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