K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
