I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize