OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize