I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize