Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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