Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize