Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
