I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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