how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
