Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
