So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
