Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
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at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
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Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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