Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
