i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize