please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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