Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
