he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
