Ketchup is God's man juice
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
