I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
high people should be assigned attendants
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
