is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
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He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
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Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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