I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
