As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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