there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
