I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
