If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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