Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
