im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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