I'm passing your future prison.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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