Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize