we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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