I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
