youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
