you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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