apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
