And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
