you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
