just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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