matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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