haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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