You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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