This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
