Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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