Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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